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The Dreams Are Gone - So What's Next?

By:Chrissie Batten
Date: Mon,02 Apr 2012
Submitter:Chrissie Batten
Views:7764

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Chrissie Batten,
Spiritual Counsellor,
Reiki Master/Teacher,
Author

The Dreams Are Gone – So What Next?

I’ve found myself thinking about my broken dreams recently. You know, the ones where you knew you could change society if you did this or that. Where you believed you had the power to somehow make a difference to the world! Dreams that led you to believe that even though life has been mostly filled with shit, what you had learned through your own pain and suffering, could somehow be put to good use to help others avoid what you have been through – meaning there was a point to your life after all! And that there is a reason why you are living on this earth, other than to suffer constant battles caused by your mental and emotional torment!

I had so many dreams! Dreams which I’ve striven to bring into fruition. But if you ask me if I succeeded in completing those dreams, I would have to say ‘I don’t really know’! My life has been filled with disruptive and painful experiences that have dominated and squashed my creativity. And I’ve felt for many, many years that I’m living one life, but yearning to live a different one. One where I feel fulfilled, content and happy.

But although I’ve recreated myself many times, and striven to be the best I can be, I’ve not located that life. As I still feel similar to how I did fifty years ago. When I was a lonely, overweight child, with low self-esteem, who used to dream of the part she would play in the world someday, and where because she could help them, people recognised her true qualities that made her worthy to be accepted as one of them!

So because I still feel this way, even after many years of self-development, my logic tells me that if I’d succeeded in fulfilling my dreams I would be feeling a lot better than I do wouldn’t I? But then another part of me steps in to remind me that as I’ve done what I believed to be the right thing, most of the time, then how could I have got it so wrong?

What’s really strange though, is that now, when I try to remember what my dreams were, I can’t! I’ve tried to recall the decisions I made many years ago, that laid the pathway for my adult choices. But it’s as though they never existed. There are no dreams or aspirations in my mind. No expectant enthusiasm or excitement, or a desiring heart. So if I didn’t fulfil my dreams, where are they? Did I give them up? Did I lose hope that they would ever manifest? Have I become a pessimist, or have I just got real?

Mind you, whilst I’ve been in voluntary hermit-land for a while now, to try and sort myself out, the world I knew has gone, disappeared completely – just like my old dreams! Society has changed. And whilst I believed I was different from others who were successful, fulfilled and happy, inasmuch as I lacked the confidence to promote myself and was fearful of many things, I’m seeing more and more people following in my footsteps of the past. Where worry, fear and self-doubt cause havoc to their well-being. So whilst it feels like nothing has really changed, nothing is the same! How weird is that?

So, I’m looking at the bigger picture now, for the future. And taking into consideration the wisdom I’ve acquired throughout my life, that tells me that worrying about what might be is detrimental, and causes a stress over-load that I can do without. I’m also acknowledging the spiritual ethos of accepting all is well in this moment, as then I’m able to stop myself spiralling out of control in panic, whilst I consider that I might actually be a failure!

This means I’m able to consider the implications that evolution is causing to happen to us. Where the guidance given by spiritual masters over the years actually starts to come together and make sense at long last. Where living in the moment means we will naturally discard the burden of emotional baggage we’ve carried throughout our existence, meaning we will be free from ego conflict that can drive us away from our dreams, desires and soul purpose. This includes dreams of the past, that we designed to eradicate our pain.

Then I have to remind myself that as my life is not yet over, there is still time for me to accomplish what I need to do. What that is I’ve no idea, as I don’t think I have the energy any more to create ambitious targets to complete. So I’ve made the decision to stop striving to attain, and just allow myself to go with the flow! As then I should be in the right place at the right time, to do whatever needs to be done, according to my soul destiny! That’s the theory anyway – for now!

I’ll let you know how I get on! But for now, I think I realise that dreaming about how I can change the future is not necessary, as if I allow my intuitive mind to remain in play, nature will guide me all the way, as it will you, if you do the same! And whilst I may feel I’m alone with my painful thoughts and emotions, I know now that I’m really a part of a large team. A team called the human race, that is perfecting it’s performance in order to win the game of life!
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Chrissie Batten said:

Hi Jim,
Part of our human predicament is the way we get pulled in different directions by different feelings and beliefs. We yearn to be recognised for the qualities of our individual true self, yet we yearn to be the same as others, because we can't cope with feeling different, alone or isolated. That's why, we're so sensitive and reactive, because we can't work out who we should, ought or want to be.
So regardless of how others are, it's helpful to identify what qualities we like about ourselves and what aspects we dislike, then we have to work out if those qualities actually bring us what we want, and if they are working for or against our well-being. Once we see our true self, warts and all, we can change our negative reactive behaviour, and re-create our personality by changing self-destructive habits - this choice enables us to find and use our real power to create the life we would prefer!
Increased understanding and acceptance of who and what we actually are, helps us eventually feel more confident.
But it takes time, patience, perseverence and loads of self- healing, wisdom and energy, before we realise that until we stop rejecting who we think we are, we will never become the person we were meant to be.
As self-understanding is the key, you may find my book helpful Jim ... Mentality - How Changing Your Mind Can Change Your Life and The World! You can get it from my website www.chrissiebatten.com or Amazon. It may just help you find a way to feel better about yourself.
It's also helpful to realise that although you may feel isolated, you are not alone in the way you feel. As regardless of how confident we may appear to be, we all have various feelings that distress us, we all feel insecure in some way, and we all cope with our pain in our own way. And regardless of how we try to avoid it, I've never known anyone to escape the suffering that life bestows upon us. So in that regard we are all in this together. Meaning we can learn what works from watching what others do, the same as they can learn from us.
Good luck.
Thu,05 Apr 2012,22:34:06 GMT

jim said:

Hi chrissie,
Thanks for the advice, the only things is when i try to only act or think about the monotemous stuff others see, hear, do, think it seems im allways just trying to fit in with people i dont agree with, particularly respect or have any intrest in yet i get depressed by never being the same as them, trying to live like them i allways feel like the failing outsider trying to fit in to a system i dont agree with.
Thanks
Thu,05 Apr 2012,20:50:53 GMT

Chrissie Batten said:

Thanks Kirsten.
Thu,05 Apr 2012,09:22:29 GMT

Kirsten said:

Your article really resonated with me, especially when you talked about 'dreams of the past, that we designed to eradicate our pain'. It is so beautifully honest that you say you have no dreams or aspirations when so many people are so keen to follow their dreams and make them come true. But at what cost? Thank you for your words - speaking your own truth is a courageous thing to do
Wed,04 Apr 2012,20:35:35 GMT

Chrissie Batten said:

Hi Jim,
I think our biggest task is learning how to stay steady and centred when our thoughts and visions overwhelm basic logic. And sometimes when we get bombarded with our visions, in order to safeguard our mind, it helps to temporarily return to a place where we choose to only believe what others can also see, where we can regain our mental and emotional stability.
This means that little by little we can open our mind, instead of opening the floodgates to intrusive thoughts that use too much of our energy.
Good luck on your journey.
Wed,04 Apr 2012,19:01:13 GMT

jim said:

Great article, I definatly can associate with you. I get stressed and start thinking everything is a sign to me, i also have halluciantions which i feel i have to work out what they are. But recently after reading a lot on buddism and meditating that you know whatever is happening ais happening, it could be extra dimensional activity, it could be a sign from a creator or it could be my stress making my mind misinterprete the world, Whatever it is though isnt going to help me here and now as its past putting my thoughts into trying to work it all out im simply refusing to live in the moment as we where originally intended to do like the sheep int the field and Birds. The only way any of it or past experiences have any power to stop me loving eeverything is if i think about it, it is what it is and there no explaining what it is what it is.
Tue,03 Apr 2012,14:23:29 GMT

Chrissie Batten said:

Thanks Brenda. Will do!
Tue,03 Apr 2012,08:53:52 GMT

Brenda Tartaglia said:

I thank you for your true honesty with your audience...you are on track about living in the now and being aware of your painful thoughts and emotions....have you looked up repeated patterens / where are they from? I am shure you have...love to your journey...look up The Body Code or The Emotion Code= wondrerful work. Nelson Bradley I believe.
Tue,03 Apr 2012,03:41:44 GMT
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